HOW SHOULD CHRISTIANS VIEW VALENTINE’S DAY?—PART 1
We have just
come through that time of the year when people talk about and reflect on
Valentine’s Day. When thinking about the subject of love, we face an ongoing
challenge of not being taken captive by two common lines of thinking about love
that are prevalent in our culture: (1 ) the sentimental; and (2) the erotic.
(Smith, p. 130). The sentimental view of love is characterized by an “ooey,
gooey” view of liking or loving certain kinds of people in our lives. “Love is
too easily spoken of as nice feelings that one might have for another, such as
someone we think of as affectionate, nice, and even sweet, a delightful
personality that we enjoy being around because he or she makes us feel good”
(Smith, p. 130). Regarding the erotic line of thinking, Sanders has noted, “Unfortunately
the word love as commonly used has become sadly debased and misunderstood. The
romantic or erotic aspects of love are predominant in modern literature and in
common parlance” (p. 96).
Five Greek Words for
Love
In our liberal,
sex-saturated culture, us Christians need to look to God and to His Word for
help. Then we can make sense out of this romanticized, controversial, and
misunderstood subject. The New Testament (NT) was written in the Greek language
which is a much more precise language than English. Therefore, there are at
least five Greek words for “love” (four occur in the NT) that will help us
correctly understand the different types of “love”—from God’s perspective.
1. Phileo. It signifies
friendship, fondness, affection, liking, and personal attachment.
It responds to
kindness, appreciation, or love. It involves giving as well as
receiving.
This love is
called out of one’s heart by qualities in another. This love
involves the emotions.
2. Storge. It is basically
“love of kindred,” especially of parents for children and children
for parents.
This love has
its basis in one’s own nature. It is a natural affection.
3. Philadelphia. With the
root Greek words phileo, “to love,”
and adelphos, “brother,”
this compound word
signifies loving someone like a brother or sister.
It is interpreted “brotherly love” in 1 Thess. 4:9
and Heb. 13:1 and
“love of the brethren” in 1 Pet. 1:22 and 2 Pet. 1:7.
4. Eros. This love is erotic
or sexual love. The basic idea of this love is self-satisfaction.
Though eros is directed towards another, it actually has self in mind.
Eros looks for what it can receive. If
it does give, it gives in order to receive.
Therefore it is a “conditional” type of love.
Eros is not used in the NT.
5. Agapao (verb) and agape (noun). The verb and noun are used in the NT for
God’s love.
The Definition of Agape Love:
Agape love can be defined as: Giving
to the basic needs of another with
no motive
of receiving
any form of reward in return.
Its Origin
It is from God. “See how great a love the
Father has bestowed on us,…”
(1 John 3:1a, NASB).
Its Location
Hearts of Christians. “And hope does not
disappoint, because the love of God has
been poured out within our hearts through the
Holy Spirit who was given to us
(Rom. 5:5, NASB).
Its Characteristics
Agape
love is a fruit of the Spirit in the Christian life (Gal. 5:22).
“Love seeks the welfare of all, Rom. 15:2,
and works no ill to any, Rom. 13:8–10”
(Vine, p. 21).
“It is an unselfish love, ready to serve”
(Vine, p. 22)
“…Christian love is not an emotional feeling
that we manufacture. Christian love
means this:
We treat each other the way God treats us.
…it’s a matter of willing” (Wiersbe, p. 6).
“Love is more than sentiment; it is an
activity. It must express itself, sacrifice itself,
pour itself out on another. It is essentially unselfish
and outgoing” (Sanders, p.96).
Agape love keeps on loving even when the
loved one is unresponsive, unkind,
unlovable, and unworthy. Therefore, it is “unconditional”
love.
Law and agape love
There is a close affinity between the law
and agape love (Smith, p. 131). A
verse
that shows this close connection between law and agape love is found in
Romans 13:8:
“Owe
nothing to anyone
except to love one another; for he who loves
his neighbor has fulfilled the
law” (NAS).
Its Ease of Application
“And it is not easy. It is not easy. The
deep challenge that we all face—and I stress
all, for the call to love comes easily to no one. Our
hearts are bent on
independence, self-sufficiency and autonomy. No one is
naturally ‘loving’”
(Smith, p. 132).
I have run out of space so will continue
this practical and “heavy-duty” subject next
month. Then I will share a recent
time when I tried to express agape love to a person
in need. In the meantime,
please reflect on some questions regarding love:
- Which one of the five kinds of “love” do you think God is the most pleased with?
- Do you think most Christians demonstrate agape love as they should to:
a. others
within their churches?
b. fellow
Christians that attend other churches?
c. unbelievers that they daily come in contact
with outside their church walls?
If not, why?
- and co-workers?
- to their church members and to people outside their churches? If not, why?
Bibliography
Sanders, J. Oswald. 2000, Enjoying Intimacy with God. 166 pp. Discovery House
Publishers,
Grand Rapids,
MI 49501
Smith,
Gordon T. 2014. Called to be Saints: An
Invitation to Christian Maturity. 250 pp.
IVP Academic, Downers Grove, IL 60515-1426
Vine,
William, W. E. 1966. An Expository
Dictionary of New Testament Words.
Fleming H. Revell Co., Old Tappan, NJ
Wiersbe,
Warren W. 1981. How to Be a Caring
Christian. 100 pp. Back to the Bible,
Lincoln, NE 68501
